【在前几段的描述中，作者强调了自己作为一个咨询师所积累的经验和技能。在这一段里，作者针对自己独特的职业目标，讲述了想法的来源和准备，表达了自己对职业目标追求最根本的驱动力。这样的写法使整篇文章的过渡显得非常自然，让人充分了解到作者想法的一步步转变，以及他的价值观】
Consequently, over the past few years,I volunteered to join every banking project in my department, took CFA exams, managed my own mini-fund in the market, and met a group of friends with similar aspiration. The fundamentals I grasped through these efforts, coupled with practical project fieldwork, have better prepared me towards my career goals.
【作者在这里非常聪明地简单介绍了自己在追求职业目标时所付出的努力，证明自己不是一个只有冲动没有行动的人，表现了高度的成熟度和深谋远虑的性格特点。而这些，也正是哥大最看重的】
However, currently I need more to move on in this relentless journey. Important knowledge and skills, such as solid understanding in finance and management, in-depth comprehension“organization operation, and seasoned insight on business strategy are essential to enter strategic consulting.
Furthermore, in face of more complicated financial instruments and hidden risks, leading banks in China demands a higher level of product mastery and risk management mechanism to their new business like credit cards and structured derivatives. Midsized and niche players are also longing for experiences from mature market to enhance their operation and refine their focused specialty.Meanwhile, state-owned giants are initiating strategic moves to expand their business worldwide. In order to establish my business to address these opportunities,I need to be equipped with vertical industry expertise, global vision, and a well-connected network.
【上述两段通过巧妙的转折，表达了作者目前的状态与职业目标之间的距离。同时，再次展现了作者对自身发展和行业的见解。在申请文章里，个人见解是最能体现独特性的，也是录取委员会最愿意看到的，但同时也是中国申请人最容易忽视的内容。中国申请人在这里面最容易犯的错误就是思考不够深入，只是简单地大量罗列事实，缺乏对材料相互之间的影响与关系的深入思考。作者在这一点上做的非常好，从而帮助他在众多类似背景的申请人中脱颖而出】
Columbia's premier faculty and top-notch curriculum, including innovative courses such as Napoleon's glance and the Master Class Operations Consulting【细节描述，体现对学校深入了解】，can arm me with necessary knowledge and practical know-how to build more bricks to my consulting pursuit.1 want to discuss market positioning strategy for small and midsized banks in Economics of Strategic Behavior with Bruce Greenwald【学校知名教授，再次体现对学校做过深入研究，证明选择哥大是自己的慎重思考后决定的】，who could further inspire me on effective solution in China market.
Moreover, its unparalleled exposure to the center of financial market and extensive alumni on the Street can provide me with invaluable guidance and hands-on opportunities. Through talking with leaders like Sabin Streeter in Executives in Residence Program，【细节，大量的细节。Why School这部分通常是被认为最难写的。粗粗看起来，每个学校都大同小异，如何在这里面表现自己对学校的热情远大于其他申请人，就在细节的表述上。当然，这些细节不是随意堆砌的，一定要和自己的需求紧密结合】I can further deepen my industry perception．and establish connections that could ultimately become cornerstone to realize my firm-owner dream.
Additionally, when my close friend [people's name]【和校友的交流，从侧面表现出自己除了常规渠道外，还通过各种私人渠道了解学校，再次加强独特性】，current J-term candidate '10, hilariously shared with me their striking experience in Study Tour to Romania，Ⅱcan't wait to join them to enjoy the unique exploration.I can greatly broaden my perspective and cultural understanding by communicating with talents and practitioners around the world. The diversified backgrounds at CBS, along with the Chazen Exchange Programs and Study Tours, will shorten my distance to the latest achievement of global wisdom that could benefit my entire life.
I believe the experiences at Columbia will propel me on career track and eventually establish results and relationships that outlast the 2-year MBA.
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