Surprise, Surprise
给你一个大惊喜
If I were invited to a dinner party with my characters, I
wouldn’t show up.
~Dr. Seuss
My father is a rabbi, and of course he often officiates at weddings. One time he was asked to officiate at a surprise fiftieth anniversary party that would include a renewal of vows. The couple’s daughter, Marilyn, was so excited. She had invited all of her parents’ lifelong friends—her mom’s
mahjong group, her dad’s golfing buddies, all seven of their grandchildren—and she had booked a dinner for all of them at a fancy hotel. Marilyn said that she wanted nothing but the best for her parents.
The event had begun as an elegant, fancy surprise party, but eventually grew to include a ten-piece band and a six-course expensive dinner.
A photographer was even hired to make souvenir badges for each guest.
As the days went by, and the cost seemed to exponentially expand, Marilyn’s husband began to question the growing expenses of the party: “I’m not so sure your parents truly need two flamingos in a rented fountain.” However, Marilyn would not budge. She met again with her party planner, and the arrangements became even more and more elaborate.
The big day finally arrived and Marilyn could not have asked for a more beautiful evening as she and her husband drove up to the hotel. They hastened inside. The aroma from the kitchen was delightful. The musicians were tuning their instruments and the hall looked beautiful. As the guests began to arrive Marilyn was more excited than she thought possible.
By 8:00 p.m., all the guests had arrived for the surprise party. Marilyn had planned for her parents to get to their surprise party at 8:15 by telling them that the celebration was actually a party for their parents’ good friends, Mr. and Mrs. Samuels. However, 8:15 came and went with no sign of the anniversary couple. Then 8:30 came—and also went. At 8:50, Mary was becoming
extremely anxious and nervous.
“Where are my parents?” she nervously asked herself. “What if something happened to them? What would we do?” Just then, Marilyn’s cell phone rang. She grabbed it.
“Hello, hello!” she shouted.
“Marilyn, this is Mom. Please send our apologies to the Samuels, but last night we looked on the Internet for an inexpensive, last-minute cruise, and we found it. It left Galveston at 5:00 this afternoon, and we’re now on our way to Key West. We’ll be back next Saturday morning. You know, it’s our fiftieth anniversary this Tuesday, and we wanted to celebrate it in a meaningful way. Tell everyone that we are sorry we cannot be there together with them tonight.”
Marilyn was in shock. She did not even notice her cell phone dropping into the fountain with the flamingos. Her husband, however, overheard his mother-in-law’s comments on the phone. He sarcastically, but calmly, stated to his wife, “Now, can we shout ‘SURPRISE’?”
Michael Jordan Segal, MSW
如果我受邀带着自己的个性出席晚餐聚会，那我是不会去的。
——瑟斯博士
我的父亲是一个犹太教祭司，当然，他经常主持婚礼。有一次，他受邀主持一个意想不到的五十周年结婚纪念日聚会，其中一项活动为重温当初的誓言。老夫妇的女儿玛丽琳十分激动。她邀请父母一生中所有的朋友都来参加聚会，母亲的麻将牌友、父亲的高尔夫球友和所有的孙子孙女。玛丽琳在一家高档酒店预订了晚餐，她说什么都不重要，只要父母开心就好。本来一开始只是个优雅、高档的惊喜聚会，但最后这顿昂贵的晚餐还包括了十组表演乐队和六道菜式，甚至还雇用了摄影师给每位来宾拍照留念。
随着时间的流逝，花费也在成倍地上涨。玛丽琳的丈夫开始质疑这次聚会的费用：“我怀疑你父母真的需要两个火烈鸟站在租来的喷水池里。”然而，玛丽琳不打算让步，她和聚会策划人再一次碰头，布置变得越来越精致。
那一天终于到来，玛丽琳和丈夫开车前往酒店，天气好得不能再好了。他们快速走进酒店，从厨房散发出的香味让人感到愉悦，音乐家们在调试乐器，大厅看起来美极了。当来宾开始抵达时，玛丽琳比想象中还要激动。
八点钟，所有来宾都已经抵达酒店。因为想给父母一个惊喜，所以玛丽琳原本告诉父母，这次的惊喜聚会是为父母的好友塞缪尔斯夫妇准备的，请父母八点十五分抵达酒店。但是，八点十五分到了，不见父母踪影。八点半了，还是没人。八点五十分，玛丽琳开始变得焦虑。
她紧张地问自己：“爸妈呢？是不是出事了？我们该怎么办？”
就在此时，玛丽琳的手机响了，她接起电话叫道：“喂？喂？”
“玛丽琳，是妈妈。请向塞缪尔斯夫妇致歉。昨晚，我们在网上看到一个便宜的豪华游轮旅行，时间很赶，我们就订了。今天早上五点就离开了加尔维斯敦，现在我们在去基韦斯特的路上，下周六早上回来。你知道的，这周二是我们的五十周年结婚纪念日，我们想以富有意义的方式来庆祝。告诉他们我们很抱歉今晚不能参加聚会了。”
玛丽琳惊呆了，连手机掉进喷水池也没察觉。而她的丈夫无意中听到岳母在电话里说的话，于是讽刺但又冷静地对妻子说道：“现在，我们可以大叫‘给你一个惊喜’了吗？”
——迈克·乔丹·西格尔
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