Responsible fatherhood is the single most important factor in the prevention of domesticviolence. It is so important that our treatment for domestic violence offenders, one of the moresuccessful in the world, constantly stresses close emotional bonds with children. The logic issimple. We know from research that strong bonds with children increase self-value. And whois more likely to abuse, the valued self or the devalued self？ The more a man values hischildren,the less likely he is to hurt their mother. In the vast majority of cases, the safestpartner relationships are those in which the father feels emotionally connected to hischildren.
Science has known for a long time that emotional connection inhibits violence and thatdisconnection is a cause of violence. Violent criminals usually lack what sociologists call astake in the community: job, marriage, positive neighborhood connections, religious affiliation,and satisfying relationships with children. Serial killers and terrorists never have closerelationships with their children. Historically, armies wanted soldiers before they married orhad children;when they did have them, they were kept isolated from them. Even in the othersocial animals, males connected to the pack are more cooperative and serve as significantprotectors of the pack, while those driven from it become "rogue" predators.
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