This once comprehended， one of my apparent contradictions will be easily accounted for， and the most sordid avarice reconciled with the greatest con- tempt of money. It is a movable which I consider of so little value， that， when destitute of it， I never wish to acquire any; and when I have a sum I keep it by me， for want of knowing how to dispose of it to my satisfaction; but let an agreeable and convenient opportunity present itself， and I empty my purse with the utmost freedom; not that I would have the reader imagine I am extravagant from a motive of ostentation， quite the reverse; it was ever in subservience to my pleasures， and， instead of glorying in expense， I endeavor to conceal it. I so well perceive that money is not made to answer my purposes， that I am almost ashamed to have any， and， still more， to make use of it.
Had I ever possessed a moderate independence， I am convinced I should have had no propensity to become avaricious. I should have required no more， and cheerfully lived up to my income; but my precarious situation has constantly and necessarily kept me in fear. I love liberty， and I loathe constraint， dependence， and all their kindred annoyances. 'As long as my purse contains money it secures my independence， and exempts me from the trouble of seeking other money， a trouble of which I have always had a perfect horror; and the dread of seeing the end of my independence， makes me proportionately unwilling to part with my money. The money that we possess is the instrument of liberty， that which we lack and strive to obtain is the instrument of slavery. Thence it is that I hold fast to aught that I have， and yet covet nothing more.
My disinterestedness， then， is in reality only idleness， the pleasure of pos- sessing is not in my estimation worth the trouble of acquiring: and my dissipation is only another form of idleness; when we have an opportunity of disbursing pleasantly we should make the best possible use of it.
I am less tempted by money than by other objects， because between the moment of possessing the money and that of using it to obtain the desired object there is always an interval， however short; whereas to possess the thing is to enjoy it. I see a thing and it tempts me; but ifl see not the thing itself but only the means of acquiring it， I am not tempted. Therefore it is that I have been a pilferer， and am so even now， in the way of mere trifies to which I take a fancy， and which I find it easier to take than to ask for; but I never in my life recollect having taken a farthing from any one， except about fifteen years ago， when I stole seven francs and ten sous. The story is worth recounting， as it exhibits a concurrence of ignorance and stupidity I should scarcely credit， did it relate to any but myself.
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——周国平