01 着陆
担任订票小助手的鸡，好不容易抢到了两张特别便宜的机票，然而这省下来的成本当然是“一分钱一分货”地反映在航程的万般不便上。去程必须要在广州中转，回程则更是奔波，要停广州和大连两地。
不过疯狂转机也丝毫不会减损小气鸡、犬对便宜机票的钟爱，我们两人就这样拎着家当、细软，辗转、徘徊了半天。首先在午夜的广州机场晃了五个小时，终于登机后，又恰巧坐在一位烂醉的大爷后排，他虽然顶上无毛但是深具影帝风范，头上、脚下跌跌撞撞的，一入座就先在座椅上又踢又跳地演了一出“贵妃醉酒remix大闹天宫”，犬提心吊胆地关注着大爷的动静，生怕他的椅背万一被一脚踹倒，就正好压扁背后的自己。
结果大爷戏唱到一半，又莫名其妙地悲从中来，不顾飞机已在滑行，声泪俱下地掏出手机打给远方的老母，呜呜咽咽地说着：“妈妈，请你也要保重。”他直逼机上广播的音量很快就把空服员和周遭同舱的小伙伴们全都惊呆了，争相奔来要他赶紧关机，我们都想要安全起飞啊！说时迟那时快，光头“影帝”又使出两秒钟往生的绝技，瞬间鼾声大作。
活宝静下来之后大家惊魂略定，鸡、犬面面相觑地想着，这到底会是一趟什么样子的旅行啊？不过随着飞机上灯光渐暗，夜也越来越深，我们逐渐陷入睡睡醒醒的恍惚境界。感觉才是一眨眼，十一个小时后，我们总算是着陆在法兰西大陆的土地上。
02 车窗外
这是一个焕然一新的早晨，巴黎的阳光温和而明朗，带着如同最轻盈清澈的玻璃般的质地，昨晚机上的闹剧很快就已经远离得像是一场即将忘记的梦境。
鸡、犬在戴高乐机场取了租的车。由于法国巷道是出了名的狭窄，所以我们这回租了台迷你的Smart，车容量只能刚好供我们两人乘坐，并且刚好可以塞入两件行李。取了车之后，担任司机的鸡（之后读者们会慢慢发现鸡的角色非常多功能）排挡一打、油门儿一踩就直奔上路。不打算在巴黎停留，一路向南驶向波尔多。听见波尔多这个地名，大家都不难猜中醉鸡和醉犬心中究竟是打着什么算盘了吧，对的！我们这次法国之旅就是要来个不醉不归！（明明到哪儿都是不醉不归。）
巴黎到波尔多之间的直线距离接近六百公里，由于“铁公鸡”犬“重症”再度发作，为了节省过路费，我们用时间换取金钱，避开高速公路，改走普通公路。
这是与法国乡间道路的初次接触，那些市道、省道领着我们穿过了许多大、中、小城镇和古朴的小村庄以及更多辽阔的一望无际的田地、柔和起伏的山丘、茂密的森林。法国乡间的景色极为迷人，让人充分感受到这片平缓的大地是如此妖娆。各种作物丛生而繁盛，大畦大畦的马铃薯、玉米，还有许多我无法辨认的庄稼。
最壮观的是辽阔广袤的麦田，这个时节的麦子在北方依旧是一片正在长的绿叶（几天后我们去了南方，这儿的麦子还是青绿的野草长相，到了那儿逐渐转为成熟饱满的金黄色的沉甸甸的麦穗），那些未来会变成粗麦秆的麦茎和麦叶，现在依旧十分柔嫩，它们好像彼此商量好了似的，全都长得差不多齐头高，所以无数小小的叶尖就肩并肩地顶出了一个宽大、致密又软绵绵的平面。
热烈的阳光下，那些青绿色的浓密麦田，就像是一床铺在地上、刚刚被太阳烤过的又松又软的绿色大棉被，棉被里的空气全都被烘得干燥、温暖又鼓胀，撑得这块有着小麦质地的大被子，看起来要多蓬松就有多蓬松，要多柔软就有多柔软，感觉舒服极了。
乡间道路上没有太多人，来来往往多是为了节省过路费的大卡车。我们看到了奇怪的景象，在那些像是荒郊野外的道路边上，居然总站着几位女子，好整以暇地好像在等公交车一样守候着。这些女人多数是黑人或拉丁人等有色人种，浓妆艳抹、衣衫鲜明，看起来就像是在大白天出没的狐狸精一样与周遭环境格格不入，极为抢眼。我相信即使是半夜行车的驾驶者，也不可能走神儿撞上她们。
此时鸡忽然忆起一篇有关法国应召女的报道，她们专门在路边招徕卡车司机。这下再看，果然那些女子有些已经上了年纪，有些则看起来整体像一架米其林轮胎的巨型蚕宝宝，总之，她们的外表实在算不上有吸引力，我们猜想这些女人就是那群远走乡野、专营长途卡车司机的阻街女郎。
这令犬想起在韩国一些比较老旧的旅馆过夜时，有几回曾在边上暗巷中见到标榜“咖啡外送”的店铺，由于外观昏暗又陈旧，我不禁好奇询问鸡这是怎么回事，我们能上那里喝咖啡吗？鸡觉得好笑地回答说那是应召站啦！如果你打电话去那种店点杯咖啡，会由一位徐娘半老的“阿珠妈”（“大婶”的韩语音译），把一杯加了生鸡蛋的咖啡（补充精力的饮料）送到你在的旅馆房间里，然后进行性交易，此款咖啡店可跟一般家庭主妇去的那种边喝咖啡边聊是非的咖啡厅一点儿都不相关啊！
Not so Smart on the Highway
放聪明点儿，别上高速
On this trip to France，Chicken drove 2845 kilometers over two weeks，from Charles de Gaulle Airport directly to Bordeaux (with just a short stop in Loire Valley) to Soulac-sur-Mer to Saint Emilion to Rocamadour to Sete to Nimes to Avignon to Vienne to Beaune to Gevery-Chambertin to Dijon to Epernay to Reims and then back to the airport. Dog wanted to drive，but we couldn’t find an appropriate place for her to learn how to drive manual.
We rented a black Smart fortwo with only 1500 kilometers on it. The lady at the counter looked at me as if I was crazy when I said I was taking the car south，in response to her question whether I will just be using it in Paris. She kept repeating that it was a very small car，“tres petit，tres petit”. I started to see why there was a special on this car (it was only Euro 339 for the whole two weeks with full collision damage waiver).
I hadn’t driven a manual in about 10 years，but it came back quickly and I realized how much fun my left feet had in the past synchronizing with the sound of the engine and a flick of the wrist. The fortwo had no tachometer so I couldn’t tell how high I was revving，but it’s a rental and rentals are meant to be revved hard. Acceleration was slow，but responsive enough. The car felt surprisingly spacious (if I didn’t look back，I would have thought it was a much bigger car -- this may be because of the car’s somewhat high profile，compared to some of the driving cars that I had in the past).
Taking the no toll，local roads，the fortwo performed admirably. This was because the roads were mostly flat and the speed limit only 90 or 110. Passing through the many rotaries was fun as the car was happy to shift down and take the turns quickly.
However，I began to comprehend the limits of this car when we took a few highways when we needed to get somewhere faster. From Bordeaux to Rocamadour or Dijon to Reims，the terrain was more hilly with several stretches of long climbs. At the beginning of these climbs，I would be going about 140 on fifth gear and regardless that I was flooring the gas，the speed would start dropping to 130，120. Downshift to fourth and still dropping to 110. Only on third would I be able to get back up to about 120. Luckily，the many trucks on Frances’roads generally only travel 110. Maintaining that 120 to the top of the climb and then I would be able to accelerate again.
Inside city limits like those in Avignon or Nimes with their narrow alleyways，the car was fantastic. It easily fit through anything，could park anywhere (the box foot print also made parallel parking amazingly easy)，and I could do u-turns tighter than if I were on my bicycle. And it did feel as if I was riding a bike rather than driving a car.
The drive also showed me how traditional，or developed，or meticulous or cultured，the French are. Driving was a pure joy in the predictability of the traffic and how people drive. The left lane is always empty unless someone was overtaking and the cars in the middle land drove faster than those on the right.
The French seem to have long ago determined what is the right way and people follow that. This trip wasn’t meant to be a wine trip，but it ended up being one and the way the French drive seem to have analogies to the way they cultivate wine.
The first wine we had was a Sancerre white from Loire Valley，meaning it was made from sauvignon blanc grapes. As we drove on，left bank Bordeaux reds were mainly cabernet sauvignon，right bank red Bordeaux mainly merlot，shiraz and granche as we drove through Sete and Avignon，great pinot noirs and chardonnays in Burgundy，and few traditional grapes for the bubblies in Epernay and Reims.
So，throughout the centuries，the French had determined which area is suited for which grapes and their appellation bodies were meticulous in having people follow tried and true methods and recipes. In the New World，just as the driving is erratic with people driving slowly in the left lane，passing on the right or undertaking Sunday glides，the wines are sometimes erratic.
I appreciate the predictability and efficiency of the drive in France as well as knowing that if I choose a wine from Margaux it will taste a certain way and one from Gevery-Chambertin another way，with slight differences relating to that particular plot of land or the wine maker. But sometimes，I also like the surprise and creativity shown by New World winemakers as swerving in and out of traffic might get you to your destination faster.
I just hope the future of wine is not like the future of driving，where robots and their artificial intelligence will control vehicles for the safety of humans and to eliminate accidents. That would create a wine that is boring and lifeless. I think French wines benefited from trial and error in the past，but the accidents occurring in other places will create impetus for development.
在此次法国旅行的两周里，鸡驾了超过2845公里的车，从巴黎的戴高乐机场直接去波尔多（只在卢瓦尔谷地短暂停留），之后经过了滨海苏拉克、圣爱美浓、罗卡马杜尔、塞特、尼姆、阿维尼翁、维埃纳、博讷、热夫雷-尚贝坦、第戎、埃佩尔奈、兰斯，最后回到巴黎机场。犬虽然也跃跃欲试想要帮忙开车，但我们找不到适当的场地教她如何开手排车。
我们租了一台小黑Smart fortwo，它刚到手时的里程数仅仅有1500公里。租车柜台的大姐随口询问鸡、犬是否打算在巴黎市区绕绕，然而当我表明两人的计划是驾着小黑一路向南的时候，她流露出一种在路上撞见疯子的眼神看着我，并且用法语连声惊呼：“太小了！太小了！”那只是一台非常迷你的小车车啊！现在我能理解为何这台车万年特价了，整整两周的租金加上两周的意外全险，只花了我们339欧元。（犬：但是我还是无法理解为何这台小破车居然售价十五万人民币！）
我大概已经有十年未曾驾驶手排车，但是很快就找回了顺畅的手感，而且这才体会到过去的驾车体验真是充满了肢体运动的乐趣——左脚在引擎的轰然巨响中踩、放离合器踏板，手腕趁势同步搭配一抖，瞬间变换挡位。然而这台两人小车的仪表板上没有转速表，驾驶者无法准确得知当下的提速，不过，反正车是租来的，不必顾忌损耗，我就依本能聆听引擎的振动，尽情畅快地猛换挡、踩油门儿。小黑虽然大体而言加速缓慢，但是反应已足够敏捷，车子内部令人感到出乎意料的宽敞（如果我不回头看的话，我真会以为自己在开一台更大的车，可能是因为这台车与我过去的几台旧车相比，顶上的空间颇高）。
不走高速公路时，小黑在乡间道路的驾车表现实在令人倾心。这是因为那些路通常平缓而且限速90公里或110公里，特别是当我们驶过那些小圆环时更是充满趣味，车子会很开心地让我打到低挡，然后像是滑一样溜转而过。
然而熟识小黑后，我也开始领悟到它的不足之处。当我们必须赶路到远方，将它驶上高速路的时候则会显现。从波尔多到罗卡马杜尔，或从第戎到兰斯，这些路段需要穿过许多起伏的丘陵，所以有不少路段是长而直的爬坡。在爬坡的起点，小黑的速度大概还能维持在第五挡140公里左右，然而无视我脚的油门儿已踩到底，时速表上的指针就开始像泄气的气球一样开始往下掉，130，120……就算是打到四挡也还是一蹶不振地跌到110公里，只有打到三挡才能够重拾一点儿雄风，再次回到120公里的时速。不过还好，大部分的法国卡车在路上都很规范，会维持平均时速110公里，所以如果我又飙回120公里的话，还是能勉强超车。
开在城市里的窄巷里，像在阿维尼翁和尼姆，小黑真是个“啵棒”（犬翻译的这个词真老派）。它能不费吹灰之力地钻进各个缝隙、泊在任何角落（而且这车的车型就像一个大方盒，把车倒正简直不可思议地轻易），最神奇的是它回转时就像是在原地打转掉头一样，回转半径之小，简直可以媲美一辆自行车。对，驾驭小黑与其说是开车，还不如说像是在骑我的自行车。
在路上开车的同时，我也发现了法国社会是多么有规矩、先进、细致并且有风度。驾车是纯然轻松、愉快的乐事，因为我可以轻易预料他人行车的路线，还有其他驾驶者将会如何开车。比如最基本的，左线总是留空以做超车道，最右线则是慢车道。
法国人似乎老早就想好了最佳的方法，然后人们按部就班地遵循。虽然葡萄酒之旅并非鸡、犬这趟旅行的原意，然而最后却意外地演变成那样。我从法国人驾车的作风似乎也可以推及他们培养葡萄酒之道。
我们喝的第一杯葡萄酒是来自卢瓦尔谷地的桑塞尔白葡萄酒，这意味着它是由苏维翁白葡萄酿造的。而随着小黑继续向前，在波尔多左岸的红酒多是卡本内苏维翁，而波尔多市右岸则多是梅洛。希拉和格纳希是在塞特和阿维尼翁时遇见的。而当我们来到勃艮第，总算尝到了伟大的黑皮诺和霞多丽。另外在尼姆与埃佩尔奈的气泡酒，则是另外一些当地传统的葡萄种类。
总之，穿越漫长的好几个世纪，法国人已经拍板制定了细则，哪个区域适合哪种葡萄，而他们产区限定的严格规矩，则详尽地要求后人遵从屡试不爽、颠扑不破的方式与配方。相比而言，新世界的作风则像是与开车不稳定的驾驶人在并肩行车，有时候慢车开到左线，或从右边超车，再者就是些疯狂的“周日驾驶者”……类推到葡萄酒的制造上的话，来自新世界的酒，品质时常不太恒定。
（犬注：“Sunday glide”这个词指的是缺乏经验的驾驶，鸡解释：“比如像唯有在周日上教堂时才开车的老太太，她们总是异常龟速、犹疑地开上高速公路，无视道路惯例，一入交流道就眼睛眨也不眨地横切三个车道、直接杀进最内线，然后保持八风吹不动的低速，全程挡在超车道上。”）
我很欣赏法国驾驶人的合理与效率，这道理就如同选一只马尔戈产区的酒，我能预料它尝起来的味道，而来自热夫雷-尚贝坦的，则又会是另外一个味道，其中再因不同地块和酿酒师而细分差异。不过有时候，我也喜欢新世界葡萄酒带给我的惊奇与创造性，好比偶尔破例在车阵中蛇行猛换车道、乱开一通，可能还真的会快一点儿。
我只希望未来的酒不会像未来的交通工具一样，改由机器人和人工智能控制，虽然可以减少事故，保证乘客的生命安全，但那样将产出无聊又没生命力的“酒”来。我认为法国葡萄酒之好，得益于他们老祖宗在过去的实验和试错。至于在其他地方出现的“创举”，则会成为另一种继续前进发展的动力。
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